| Item | Destructive Advantages | What good will it do? | Cost |
|---|---|---|---|
Bottled Water |
Plastic bottles leach toxic chemicals that get into our bloodstream, the water is no better than most tap water! |
You'll not only increase CO2 emissions, you'll move us closer to bloody "resource wars," potentially killing millions of people! That's a Win-Win! | $1.50 per liter |
Cellphones |
Just keep using your cellphone the way you always do, and you may develop a terminal brain cancer! Better yet, get a family plan and give one to your kids, your mother and even your second cousin. Screw this world. Let’s move on! | Clearly, the world is overpopulated. Brain cancer may not be the fastest way to thin the herd, but cellphones greatly increase the chances of premature TERMINATION! | $49.95 and up |
Digital Books |
What a great way to erase human history (which will soon be irrelevant anyway). Less than 1 percent of books, magazines, newspapers will ever be digitized into e-book form. And formats change every three years (or less) |
As books become digitized, libertarian groups will advocate getting rid of libraries! What's the point of keeping printed records around that were published before 2007--oh except for the Constitution...and The Bible. We can learn everything we need to destroy ourselves directly from TV! | $259(plus books) |
Firearms |
Get your personal firearm now! A well armed citizenry will give the U.S. government all the reason it needs to treat us all like dangerous criminals. | Right-wing groups like the Oath Keepers and the Tea Baggers are afraid of martial law. But their gun buying frenzy may actually bring on a federal crackdown! Why not join 'em? Free guns for everybody! (No, wait, that would be socialism...). | $50.00-$6,000 |
Exotic Woods |
Get your piece of the rainforest! Sit on your Ironwood deck. Put your feet up on your teak footstool. Let’s get this party started! |
Rainforests stand in the way of purging the planet of the human scourge. They must be mowed down now! One way to help is to buy teak, cherry, ironwood and other exotic woods harvested from faraway places. | $119 and up! |
Meat |
Eating the flesh of cows, pigs and poultry is one of the easiest ways to cut the human scourge off from its imaginary destiny! | What a triple bypass solution to the human problem this is! By eating meat, you not only waste water, destroy soils, and fill the air with methane emissions, you make your self way more likely to die of heart disease. | Priceless |
